


fight like you love

by aarobron



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-07
Updated: 2016-11-07
Packaged: 2018-08-29 14:06:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,187
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8492659
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aarobron/pseuds/aarobron
Summary: It’s not like they never argue. In fact, they argue more than any couple Liv has ever known, she’s told them so too many times (but then Aaron thinks a fourteen year old doesn’t actually know that many couples at all, minus all her friends and their adolescent, asinine relationships. No, those don’t even begin to compare).





	

**Author's Note:**

> the boys fight

It’s not like they never argue. In fact, they argue more than any couple Liv has ever known, she’s told them so too many times (but then Aaron thinks a fourteen year old doesn’t actually know that many couples at all, minus all her friends and their adolescent, asinine relationships. No, those don’t even begin to compare). But this time, it feels different, but he can’t even remember what it was about. It must have been pathetic, worthless, but all he can think about is his raised hackles and clenched fists. He’d been furious, shouting and spitting harsh, harsh words. “All you did was use me,” he’d sneered, “Nothing but a fucking game.” And honestly, he hated using their past against Robert, he did, but it was just _so easy_ to bring it up when he was angry. He didn’t mean to, he just wanted to push buttons. 

And it’s not like Robert wasn’t just as nasty back. His lips had twisted into a cruel smile, and it reminded Aaron of all those times before. “Not like you hadn’t jumped into bed with me the first chance you got, is it? It's like you were obsessed with me.” And before he could even think twice, his fist was connecting with Robert’s cheekbone. The older man stumbled back, crashing into their chest of drawers – _their_ , Aaron thought bitterly, not if he could help it – with a shocked look on his face. “You... You hit me? You actually hit me?” Robert asked, an inflection to his words like he couldn’t believe his own life. Aaron had just stared back, raising his eyebrows slightly like, yeah, and what? “You… I can’t do this.” And with that he’d stormed out, pushing past a shocked Liv outside his room. She’d clearly been listening in, but right now he wasn’t focusing on her.

And Robert hadn’t come back that night, or the night after that. Aaron didn’t know where he was, but he didn’t care; he was still shaking with fury every time he thought back. And every mention of him had sent Aaron into a rage again, jaw clenched, cheek twitching and nostrils flaring. That had made everybody back off.

So when it was a week later, and he’d still not heard from Robert he was worried. It just made him even angrier: what kind of person would leave their family to work themselves into a panic? Not the kind of man that Aaron thought he was with, that’s for sure. He avoids his mum’s searching gazes and Liv’s nervous questions with snappy answers along the lines of “not my problem, not anymore.”

But one day, Jimmy actually stumbles into the portacabin turned office, having the audacity to mention Robert and seconds later, shrinking under Aaron’s icy glare. “What do you mean?” He asks, a hard edge to his voice that he just hasn’t been able to shake since The Fight. He’s not actually sure when he’d started to capitalise it in his head, but it was definitely needed. It felt like some defining moment, an important test.

“He’s in Holland. He didn’t tell you? I thought you two were attached at the hip.” Jimmy jokes, smiling nervously. Aaron knows he’s being unfair to everyone around him, but, well, it’s Robert’s fault once again – if he was here, Aaron wouldn’t be snapping at his friends, would he?

“What the fuck is he doing there?” 

Jimmy’s smile drops almost instantly. “He’s meeting with a potential client. He jumped at the chance to go, left four days ago,” then he lowers his voice considerably. “Have you two fallen out?”

Aaron just scoffs. “We’re not kids, Jimmy.” But his mind is racing, furiousmiserableincreduloushateful all in the space of a few seconds, and it must show because not a minute later Jimmy is mumbling something about working from home and escaping back out of the door. 

+

“Did you know about this?” Aaron explodes the minute Adam gets back from his lunch break. “Did you know that Robert is in a _different fucking country_ and didn’t tell me?” He knows his voice is getting louder and he knows he’s potentially making a scene out of not much at all, but fuck it, it’s only him and his best friend around. 

Adam immediately backs up a few steps, hands held out in front of him in a merciful gesture. “No! I swear!” When Aaron gives him a glare, he amends his words. “Well, not straight away. But he called Vic a few days ago; she was worried sick too! He’s just giving both of you time to calm down.” 

“But it’s not calming me down! He’s making it worse!” He sits down again, one hand fisted in his hair and the other grasping his mug so tightly he’s afraid it might break. He loosens his grip a bit, watching his knuckles turn from white to yellow to pink, breathes deeply, calmly and continues. “What if something happened to him, Adam? What if something happened to him while he was out there and I know that we were on bad terms? What if he doesn’t come back?” He knows he sounds like a scared little boy, but that’s how he feels. He wonders if Robert’s finally, actually sick of him and he feels the lump in his throat rise instantly. He can barely swallow around it. 

“Aaron, mate, he’s not going to leave you! He loves you; you know he does. God knows he’s ranted to me about it enough times when he was living with us,” Adam huffs and the other man feels his lips trying to quirk up in the corners. But he won’t smile, can’t smile, not when the fire is still running through his veins. “Why don’t you just text him or somethin’? I’m sure he’s waiting for it.”

Aaron laughs then, and it sounds thin and hollow even to his own ears. “He’s probably got a lover for every finger out there. He won’t be missing me at all.” But he feels sick when he says the words, so much so that blood rushes to his face and he has to gasp through it. Why couldn’t they just sort it out? They were both so immature, so childish. 

“Stop thinking like that, man. He wouldn’t hurt you.” Adam sounds so sure of himself, so confident that Aaron starts to feel a bit hopeful. Maybe they’d survive after all.

+

Later that night, when he’s in bed, he’s so exhausted that he forgets to be angry. He texts Robert, _Holland?_ and it even reads weak. But there’s something defeated sitting on his heart, crushing it, making his lungs burn with every breath. And he feels it so much more in this bed, in this room, in this pub. So many things remind him of Robert, the way he wakes Aaron with a smile, the way the sunlight makes his smooth, smooth skin shine like a halo, the way he presses kisses into his lover. But then Aaron’s heart clenches painfully when Robert replies almost immediately, nothing more than a sharp _business meeting_ and he feels himself caving already.

He pulls himself up, back resting against the cold, rough leather of the headboard and presses call. It takes a few rings, like Robert’s hesitating, like Robert doesn’t want to talk. That thought hurts, but he pushes it out of his head the moment he hears Robert’s sharp breathing on the other end of the phone. “Hi,” He whispers almost shyly. “Hey.”

And then he can feel the moment that Robert cracks; he can hear the breath that gets caught. “Aaron.” He mumbles, and Aaron can see him, forehead resting in his hand and eyes closed – the image is perfect. 

“I’m sorry,” Aaron blurts before he can talk himself out of it. “I shouldn’t have hit you. I don’t know why… I just – I just got so scared you were going to hurt me.” He admits it softly, and he’s scared but he doesn’t really get _why_ , he thought they’d gotten past this together.

It seems like Robert’s surprised too, when he barks out a short, humourless laugh. “I’m sorry too. For making you think that I would,” His voice sounds tinny over the phone, but it’s more than Aaron had ever wished for over the past few days. “I can’t even remember what we were fighting about.”

This time, Aaron smiles, just a tiny, subtle quirk of his lips, but it’s probably the first positive feeling he’s had in a week. “Me neither, but I was stupid,” He admits freely. “We both were. When are you coming home?”

There’s a short silence that follows, and all Aaron can hear is the clicking of Robert’s laptop keys and for a moment, he’s worried that Robert is going to reply with never, not to you, anyway. But when Robert does speak, he hears finality in his voice. “Tomorrow; first thing. Get some sleep, I should be home before you wake up.” 

Aaron can feel the relief washing over him, the way his shoulders sag with the weight of it and his heart finally feels less like it’s trying to choke him. “See you soon,” He says softly. “I love you.” He doesn’t say it enough, probably not as often as he should, but he’s always said that he doesn’t want to wear the words out, to overuse them to the point they have no meaning – that’s not going to change just because he’s met the love of his life.

“I love you too.” He can hear Robert’s grin radiating through the phone, and it fills him with contentment. Finally, he thinks, he’s made something right for once. 

+

Aaron’s woken up the next morning by Robert’s hands on his shoulders, pressing him into the mattress as he drops kisses all over his face. “Never want to fight like that again.” He admits grimly, mouth a thin line, and then it hits Aaron just how _terrible_ his other half looks. His hair is limp, not carefully styled like it normally is, and the bags under his eyes are drooping, a deep, dark blue, looking something like two black eyes. The black eyes wouldn’t be out of place either, not with the yellow bruise that’s still blooming over Robert’s cheek. The sight of it makes Aaron cringe, makes him feel a bit sick, so the only thing he does is pull Robert down to meet him in an innocent, closed mouth kiss, once, twice, three times.

“I thought you were going to leave me,” He surprises himself by admitting it. “I couldn’t handle it.” Robert just grimaces and continues kissing a path around Aaron’s face like he’s finally found the one thing he wants most. 

“I could _never_.” He bites back, finally pushing his tongue into Aaron’s mouth. It’s a deep kiss, tinged with longing and want and sadness, and it’s tastes a tiny bit like regret and apologies. It makes him fall in love with Robert a little bit more, and he sighs happily as he threads his fingers into golden hair.

+

At lunchtime, they’re sitting at a table close to the bar, pressed together all down one side. Their ankles and knees and elbows and shoulders are touching, and Aaron can swear he can actually see the sparks flying between them. He can’t stop sneaking glances, but really, it’s not sneaking, not when Robert’s staring right back at him with a grin on his face. He thinks back to that morning, to gasping apologies into the older man’s skin as he pushed into him and links their fingers together.

“Do you think that was close?” He picks out Liv’s voice easily over the crowd, and yeah, maybe that’s where she gets it from, but he continues to listen anyway. “Whatever that was, do you think they could’ve…?” 

“Oh love,” He hears his mother say soothingly. “I won’t lie to you… I didn’t think they were going to get through it. But they proved us wrong, didn’t they? They’re fine now, they’re both here.” His mood lowers a bit, not much, but just enough so he can feel it when he realises how bad it’d actually been. 

“Please,” He starts, turning to Robert with one eyebrow raised. “Please, never piss me off again.”

Robert just laughs and it’s like music to his ears. “You know that’s never going to happen. But you know that I’d never hurt you. Not like before.” He bites his lip slightly, eyes glazing, and Aaron knows he’s thinking back to their past, to each and every scar on their just about healing relationship. 

“Sometimes,” He starts, eyes cast down like he’s slightly ashamed by what he’s about to say. “Sometimes, I just feel terrified by how much I love you.” And a beat passes before Robert’s using one finger to lift his chin, gazing into his eyes for a second before pressing their lips together. They’ve never really been the kind of people for PDA, but, well, it was like Aaron thought. Maybe this fight was a test – but they’d just come out stronger for it.

**Author's Note:**

> follow me on tumblr @ aarobron


End file.
